Do you think it is possible to be sane, celibate, clean, and human at the same time? If you're constantly altering your dopamine levels with sex and new relationships.... Or do you go get a hit of your new relationship to make it seem better? There are many different circumstances in the lives of people entering recovery. I was devastated and didn`t know what else to do other than use. It's important to have the time to heal the wounds before you move on to another person otherwise you could find yourself back at square one again and then wondering why you always attract the losers. Sex is pretty much the only time I can forget my cravings... It would be easy to turn to this for a dopamine fix just like hitting the super sugar smacks with a side of powdered donuts. Relationship issues are the number one reason for relapse. I got back on it worse because it`s like, when you`re recovering-or this was how it was for me- I put everything into him.when it was over.. I cannot speak for the drug part (I am a loved one)of it involving relationships, but I can comment on general abuse issues and divorce.
Sex and relationships are messy by nature, even good ones. Would you trust a car with a new coat of paint over rust? I just have "100% no strings attatched never see them again" sex... don't leave em thinking I'll call or there is anything more to it and tell them upfront ... Is it just to prove how dedicated to your recovery you are? Personally, I've found most one-night stands in a bar. I have had total strangers knock on my door with a 6-pack in hand wanting to get to know me better. I do know how things played out after my first husband. I really thought at the time I was ready for a relationship that I felt I had been without for many years. I didn't give myself a chance to be fully functionable.. how can someone who has been in love with dope..possibly work on two things at once..recovery and relationship... we are very sensitive people and if a relationships falls apart .... Once you understand the steps..effort in YOUR recovery and understand what it means to work a program can you FINALLY MIX in love...slowly.
I've got a ton of garbage in my life and a huge mess to clean up. I know I wouldnt be able to handle a relationship right now... WHATS THE DIFFERENCE IN GETTING INTO A SOMEHOW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP USEING THAN WHEN YOUR RECOVERING? I do not know much about programs and in respect to that don't care to comment on it. I think I over looked many red flags because I didn't give myself a chance... I find the focus is hard enough for staying clean..learning to love one self.a challenge as well.
I think every one, not just addict needs to ask themselves before entering a sexual relationship if this is really what they want and if it's not just some self destruction sequence going off (like an addict just looking for a good time for one night).
Hopefully is something goes wrong in the relationship the chemical dependant individual will have the adequate support system they we're supposed to be working within anyway, otherwise the risk of relapse is pretty high since the emotional pain is strong at the time. If a relationship was built on one person meeting another 'just to be friends' for a while, well, it's not very often that a man and a women would be friends, there is usually some kind of attraction there and at some point it usually plays out in the relationship.
After the fact I would not trade my love for him, it has made me a stronger person, also.. I haven't met too many people in meetings who have a partner. If there was a good side to all of it, I guess and hope I am a stronger person from all of it.. Every time you talk to a person who you are in a new relationship with, you get a rise in chemical levels. It was good to only have to worry about myself for that first year.