But without it, it’s all too easy to fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and negativity. And that is why I succeed.” And it’s that kind of mentality—being able to live with failure and learn from it—that helps you build self-confidence, says executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, Ph.
And this not only hurts us on a personal level (anxiety, depression, membership to the lonely heart’s club), but it can also put a damper on our professional success. D., author of Fact: Life would be way less fun without friends.
But while most of us in the coupled-up camp are aware of this, we don't necessarily think we need to work on our confidence when going on a 'date' with our guys we're totally comfortable with. Not until I had a coaching session with dating guru (and head & shoulders Date Night Confidence Coach) Matthew Hussey who advised me that by putting 10% more planning into a special night with my fella (or fiancé as I should call him if that didn't feel so cringey), I – we – could experience each other in a new way that was special, memorable, and sexy. He gave me these eight tips that act like triggers to boost my dating confidence: Take care of you first, feelings follow actions.
These little triggers, that I will keep top of mind, were more effective than a quick confidence boost like having my hair done before the date.
Although I'm a big believer that it's hard to be loved if you don't love yourself (and a good blow-dry can help that! THE MODERN DAY DATING 10 COMMANDMENTSMATTHEW HUSSEY ANSWERS YOUR DATING QUESTIONSDISASTER-PROOF DATING?
To paraphrase popstar Meghan Trainor, it’s all about that bass (no treble): listening to heavy-bass songs promotes more feelings of power than the low-bass songs.
And the confidence link doesn’t just exist with physical objects. Experts believe that having solid mental practices—like picturing yourself scoring the winning goal or even going through a tough workout—can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prep your brain for a successful outcome.
I steered conversation to the vision we're both excited about – our upcoming nuptials – and our goals, such as house buying. We probably weren't tipsy enough for it to remind him of our first kiss (we were on a waltzer at Lovebox festival!